How I let go of whats holding me back
Close your eyes. Now think about something that may be holding you back… It could be a belief, a self doubt, something you really want but you seem to be coming into all kinds of blocks when you try to achieve it, maybe a label you identify with like (too busy, too fat, a victim, or not smart). The more you become aware the more you will notice these blocks in your life.
Now imagine that it is a big rock at the bottom of a fast moving river. You hold on to this rock that keeps you under the water for maybe months, years or even decades. You have been gripping tightly for so long you have become numb to the pain it is causing you. The burning in the hands and arms is just life now. You have adapted to the dim lighting and cold chill at the bottom of the river. Some days you don’t even realize you are holding on to this. It might even be so long that it's not even relevant in your life anymore. But it's all you've known for so long you just keep holding on. You might even start to identify with your life as a bottom dweller and it becomes such a part of who your are how could you ever let go? You may even have fear about letting go. Fear of the unknown, fear of what's down the river so you keep holding on even tighter. But then one day for some reason you realize the pain and suffering is no longer worth it. And you let go… At first it might be a bit painful even as the fast current drags you into the rocks of the river bed. You might struggle to regain your grip or swim upstream to get back to it. But soon you learn to relax and the current lifts you to the surface. You float on your back relaxed on the surface. It's so easy and effortless. All of a sudden your whole world is opened up to new experiences. You can feel the sun on your face for the first time in years, it warms you to the core from your head to your toes. You can see all the beautiful sights that you could not see from the murky deep water. It all seems so easy and effortless like it was meant to be…
I was inspired this morning to share this with you because as I was going on with my regular chores (making beds, washing laundry etc…) I found myself thinking about a past hurt that happened when I was quite young. I was going over this event in my mind and the ways it has affected me even to this very day. Then all of a sudden a light bulb went off! I had been holding on to this rock for far to long…. I needed to let go and see where it takes me. Letting go for me always meant forgiving. And it never felt right to do that. But in that moment I realized that by letting go I can release the pain. I can feel the sun again. And maybe over time with no pain I can forgive.
I wanted to share this with you because I had been holding on too this rock for almost 24 years. I have let go of several rocks in the past. But this one was so deep I didn't even know I had been holding on anymore. It was so much a part of my story/my past…
I hope this inspires and helps you to let go and move forward in life. And find the joy, comfort and ease of the natural flow of life.